Trying and Failing
by Alicia Mirza
Summary: After the War Dudley has changed. He married a witch, and he left his previous life behind. But not without looking back. Over the years he has written many letters to his mother, telling her what has happend to him. He has never once got a reply. He has tried, but he has failed. [Dudley/Petunia family one-shot] [mentions of Dudley Dursley/Susan Bones] [letter story]


**Quidditch Leage Competition - Season 2**

Team: Bellycastle Bats

Position: Chaser 1

Letter: to a parent or guardian

Wordcount: 1575 words

Bonus prompts:

1. (word) lonesome; 5. (quote) "I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don't" – W. Somerset Maughan; 15. (word) willing

* * *

**Trying and Failing**

* * *

Dear Mum,

I always thought that I would share news like this in person during some fancy dinner. I imagine that there should be hugging and saying the word 'congratulations' so many times it would actually lose its meaning by the end of the night. However, that happens only in normal families, and ours is far from that.

Did you even know that Harry's second son has been already born? Of course not, you are only his aunt, and it's not like we are his only living blood relatives…

I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don't. What I really wanted to say, that it shouldn't be like this, I should just write the words down on a piece of paper, it's a lot bigger than that.

Susan is pregnant. We are going to have a baby – did you know that magic is so strong that it is about ninety percent sure that the baby will be a witch or wizard? Of course you didn't know, you never wanted to know anything about the magical world.

I know that Dad will never be willing to do anything with a magical child, let him or her be his grandchild or not. But maybe, just maybe you are better than him, if you are then you know where you can find us.

I just hope that my children will not grow up knowing that their grandparents never wanted to know them.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

It's a girl – I'm going to have a daughter, can you believe it? I can't stop smiling at the taught. I hope that she will look like Susan, a little redhead running around – I could live with that.

We have decided not to break the family tradition, but with a little twist we agreed to name our baby girl Flora. Her middle name is going to be Amelia after Susan's late aunt who was like a mother to her.

I just thought that you might want to know.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

Yesterday Flora Amelia Dursley was born. I tried to call you when Susan went into labour, but I was an idiot when I thought that you cared. I dialled the number I still know by heart and an elderly woman answered it. I had to say that I mixed up the numbers even though I know that I didn't – you changed your number without ever telling me. I even checked the phonebook, but I never found your new number.

She is beautiful, she is completely healthy and I'm sure that she is magical in every meaning of the word. I just wanted to share my happiness with you.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

Flora is so big already – if only you could see her. She has her mother red hair, but instead of Susan's brown or my blue she has green eyes. Not exactly the same emerald as Harry, a lighter green, but she already reminds me of my Aunt Lily I never got to know.

I'm not even sure why I'm still trying. You have never answered me. I guess I don't even know if my letters have ever reached you. Dad might have burnt them without even opening them, the same way he did with Harry's Hogwarts letters.

I guess I can't just give up on you. Do even have anyone other than Dad? Aren't you lonesome? I hate that you are not here for your granddaughter and me, but at the same time I pity you.

If you ever change your mind – I would be happy to see you again.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

Flora is five already, and guess what – Susan just told me that we are going to have another baby! Another baby, Mom. We have been trying for a year already and I guess I accepted that Flora won't have a little sister or brother.

Have I already told you about Harry's youngest child? She is called Lily, Mom. Lily Potter. She and Flora are pretty much inseparable, the two redheads together.

Do you remember the Weasley family? Molly Weasley the plump ginger, you disliked so much? Because of Harry marrying the youngest Weasley Flora spends a lot of time with them. She started calling Mrs. Weasley 'Grandma' saying that is not fair that she doesn't have grandparents and everyone else does. It broke my heart, Mom. Why can't you be Flora's grandmother? And what about the baby?

I have married Susan seven years ago and you still couldn't accept it. I don't understand why though. She has pretty much fled from the wizarding world. I can't remember the last time I've seen a wand in her hand, Mom. She is beautiful, she is caring, and she is kind, loyal and brave. I can't imagine someone better than her, I don't even deserve her, not the other way around.

I just wish you could see that too.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

Our baby boy was born! Though, he did play a trick on us, we thought that he was going to be a girl until he was born. So, we had to be creative, because we have only chosen girl name. If the baby was a girl she would have been named Chloris, Clory for short, as it's the Greek equivalent of Flora.

So, we need him Jared after Susan's late father. It's funny that later on we realized that Jared is actually a Biblical word for rose, so in a way he is named after a flower too. His second name is Dudley, it was Susan's idea and she was stubborn.

He is still small, but so far it seems that he won't share the hair colour of his sister and mother, he might have my fair hair.

Flora is pretty excited to be a big sister, with her big green eyes she looks at Jared like he was a miracle, and in my opinion he is.

I hope you will meet him one day, him and Flora.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

If only you sent me one reply.

Jared is only three, but he has already showed the signs of magic, just as Flora did at his age. He loves to levitate the cookies he can't reach. Flora is already nine, I can't believe it. She is such a big girl.

She is so clever, and beautiful and talented. She is nothing like I was at her age. She loves sports, let them be muggle or magical, and she enjoys learning. She excels at school, and she has many friends in both worlds.

Jared is very enthusiastic and lively, he can't stop for a moment. He is already very mischievous, he is surrounded by way too many pranksters.

I would have never guessed that my life would be like this, but I'm very happy Mom, and you should be happy for me too.

You will never believe me, but the kids love Harry and call him their uncle. If only my younger self could see me today, it would be a hilarious experience.

I still love you, you know. I'm angry with you for missing out my children's childhood, but I can't stop thinking about you.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

Flora has just left for Hogwarts yesterday for the first time. The house is so empty without her, but Jared is always full of energy at the age of five, so I guess we won't be bored. We have just got her letter, she says she loves it there already.

To both of our surprise she was sorted into Gryffindor, which is the house of the brave ones. Aunt Lily and Harry was there too, but Susan was in Hufflepuff. She is together there with Lily Potter, who I still her closest friend, can you believe it?

I would have loved to see you at King's Cross. Maybe one day you will be there.

Dudley

* * *

Dear Mom,

It's Flora's last year at Hogwarts and Jared has just started it. He has been sorted to Hufflepuff which was maybe even a bigger surprise than Flora in Gryffindor, because Jared is nothing like his mother or me. He is a ball of energy, and he has problems with rules.

Flora is very talented – she hasn't lost her passion for sports, she is in her house's sport team, and she is a prefect. She would like to become a Healer, a magical doctor.

I have been thinking about for years, but I think this will be my last letter to you. Flora is seventeen years old, Mom, seventeen. Soon it will be our twentieth wedding anniversary, and you still haven't replied.

Twenty years without one tiny letter, Mom. Flora has a boyfriend, it seems pretty serious you know. Before I know my baby girl will be married, and she will have her own children. She is a grown-up, and you have never met her.

If you ever want to do with me or my family anything reply to this letter. If not, I won't bother you anymore.

Dudley

P.S.: Before Flora has left for school I had a long conversation with her. Both she and Jared has heard about your situation before, but now I told her everything and as a response she has written a letter to you. I haven't read it either, but I enclose it to this one. Maybe she will succeed, I know that I have failed.


End file.
